"I am, I am, I am": The Bell Jar

(Heads up: this is a trigger warning for depression and suicide).

I go to a university with a highly-ranked English program and an even-higher ratio of women to men. Thus, I’ve heard quite a lot about our friend Sylvia Plath from the conversations I’ve listened in on in the past few years.

The Bell Jar wasn’t on the to-read list for me until very recently. Until I went to college, I very rarely read any books in the modernism/contemporary genres, unless they were YA/middle-grade books. It was probably because I thought reading novels from the White Male Canon would make me seem smarter—but in any case, I finally got to The Bell Jar, and here we are.

This is my edition , which I love.

First off, I should not have read this during Christmas. I actually took a break from it, because there was no way I could consider the significant lessons in the novel with the sing-songy, deck-the-halls mood I was in.

Finally, once everything settled down, I was able to focus on what Plath was doing in the novel. She does an excellent job portraying the events that led to Esther, the protagonist, becoming encompassed in the bell jar (her metaphor for depression). I really, really hate it when people analyze novels based on the authors’ biographies (a topic for another post), especially female authors, but I think in this case it is safe to say that Plath was able to incorporate some of her own feelings and experiences into the novel, giving it an authentic touch that I don’t think anyone who hasn’t experienced depression would be able to.

What really struck me was different characters’ reactions to Esther’s condition. Her mother, for instance, reacted as many people do: she refused to accept that depression was a real condition and expected Esther to “change her mind” about how she felt.  Mrs. Tomolillo was shocked, embarrassed, and nauseated when Esther told her about her suicide attempt, and even began telling people about it, reminding me of those people who treat depression and suicide like a scandal, or some sort of shock-value story.

The most ridiculous reaction for me, though, was Buddy’s. He says, “Do you think there’s something in me that drives women crazy? …I mean… I dated Joan, and then you, and first you… went, and then Joan…”

Are you kidding me?! Leave it to the twenty-year-old boy to make Esther’s depression into his own problem. Esther also points out his use of the word “crazy” here, which I’ll leave up to you to determine the meaning of (ignore my gross grammar. I'm on break. Deal with it).

All in all, I loved this book. I wish that other novels, especially YA novels, were able to be this frank about disorders; it’s important not only for the general public to be aware of this stuff, but also in that if someone (especially a kid/young adult) were able to recognize themselves, they could get the help they needed.

I need a rating system. Out of five? Out of ten? Ten would make me feel better, but Goodreads is out of five, so I’ll go with that for now. 5/5

Onto Girl Online.

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